The CIA out to be ashamed of themselves. All this trouncing around with various tramps and skanks has my girdle in a bind. General Petraeus has a
huge case of boner’s remorse and is now joined by General John Allen, also an uncontrollable sexaholic. A scandalous love affair between Petraeus and his naughty biographer Paula Broadwell sent the General packing from his post as a CIA Director. But not fast enough, mind you . Recently, the FBI launched an investigation to determine what classified information Broadwell might have scooped during her dalliance . The investigation so far has uncovered “Agent Shirtless” , a number of tainted laptops , and emails
filled with salacious porn-quality steaminess . Broadwell was apparently stroking Petraeus’ ego and his wiener . This story has more juicy parts than a teenage pap smear and Americans are hot, hot, hot for more! Broadwell had it coming. Her attempt to derail the rumor mill involved threatening emails to a Tampa socialite close to the General’s circle, Jill Kelley. When Kelley boo-hooed to the FBI about the harasshole, investigators uncovered an even deeper layer of seduction, betrayal and hard core juiciness. The search through massive volumes of emails revealed General “Warrior Monk” Allen was in on the action as well. Allen’s emails revealed a playful kittenish side to the warrior General, and led directly to a sordid relationship with the horse-faced Kelley. Who knew? Jill Kelley is now banned from all military functions where men might be present. Pages and pages of drool-inducing messages will certainly entertain FBI investigators adding more distraction as the probe deepens. I think this probe needs to mine even deeper, and Broadwell’s not complaining. Lord knows she enjoys a deep probing! What will be unearthed next? Does any of this surprise you? As a devout Christian woman I am ashamed of our military leaders. I went to a very somber Veteran’s Day observance recently and sex was the last thing on anybody’s mind. For goodness sake, men need to keep their peckers in their pants and get on with the important business of coordinating the war effort. This kind of depravity has no place in our armed forces and is an embarrassment to honorable service men everywhere who display appropriate control over
their erections. It’s deplorable. Are there not enough places of worship on our overseas bases? Shall we send over more bibles? When Generals spend more time super sizing their privates than supervising their Privates, we have a problem America!
The juice just got juicier. We learned that Jill Kelley, General Allen’s side-bang, has an equally overactive twin sister Natalie! With the foxy Natalie in the mix, we can only fantasize about when and how the next sub plot of this scandal will blow out. I pray that this filthy laundry is exposed and these Tampa trollops will stop polishing the Brass once and for all. They have caused enough damage already! The details of the events give us all cause for alarm and wonder. Is the security of our nation compromised? What’s in Broadwell’s hard drive? What’s in her secret drawers? Once this information is made public we can make an informed decision about the security of our nation. In the meantime, I ask you to pray with me, as our country once again becomes a spectacle of ridicule and shame. I’m down on my knees now, are you? The misbehaviors of top brass, their indiscretions and kinky habits have created a national scandal and put our nation’s security at risk. I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life! Frankly, I’m not big on vulnerability. It’s bad for my blood pressure and keeps me awake at night. Vulnerability is for pussies and other unpredictable nations. America, we are all vulnerable now!